The politics class got over today. It was well taught, at least till the halfway line, and then it sort of drifted. Some of the discussions were intellectually stimulating and forced us to think on issues from perspectives we normally did not since we were not informed enough. The political history did help us, I must say.

But the instructor was stubborn and adamant on his views. He did invite our opinion but only to blast in it in the end. He was willing to argue, but with only one end in consideration - that he would prevail. Even when he was on the losing end, he was not gracious...instead he found some irrelevant detail to criticise. It was as if he was bent upon taking some chunk out of the victor. I believe that if u cannot be gracious in defeat, you can never win; in the same way as you cannot be humorous unless u can be self effacing.

But what has mattered more is the reaction of a particular student, called P. P told me, and i have no reason to doubt her, that she is not liked by K, who is one of the teachers here. Now, when P did a front page story and went to K for his consent and comments, he spiked it and told her to start afresh. When P went and as she says, did the story assiduously, he again rebuked her. So now P has gone around telling any faculty member she can find, that K is a asshole who is after her. While she argues that she must voice her opinion, and be not afraid of anybody, I think this is shooting oneself in the foot. It is of course a right to express your opinion. But then its expression has to achieve the purpose of communicating to the target people the truth. If P alone says that and no one else does, it might result in the opposite - that people actually thinking that she's the only one who is saying this. Of course, they might also realise that K has this thing against her and is the sort of person who likes to victimise people.

Frankly there is no evidence of that. This is the case with most leftists. They do it in such a subtle way that the aggrieved can never prove that this is a fault in his personality. Stalin had huge concentration camps in Serbia, called Gulag, and resorted to cruel repression of Russians and of other nations that formed Soviet Russia but still was eulogised for being a great leader because the information about the camps never got out till long after his death. In the same way, if K is going after just one student on purpose, he will take care not to do the same to the other students. He indeed has followed this approach.

But I must also say that maybe P is perceiving matters incorrectly. Maybe K is just being harsh to show her how an actual newspaper works. His methods may not be exactly conducive to create a learning experience, but his intentions might not be nefarious. Before acting one needs to introspect. I know that P usually does that but she also tends to act on impulse sometimes. And she does have strong opinions. I think that she did nothing wrong at all but now she should stop. After all, she is here to be a journalist and one man should not be given so much of an importance, howsoever unfair he might be, because as i have already pointed out, he has cleverly gone about it. So deal with it as it is for sometime, tell some people, but don't start a crusade. Because it is of benefit, both for oneself and the society, when some result comes out of it. If suppose he was censored for this, then well, the objective of stripping him off his facade would have been achieved. But reality is different and she can win only if she takes that into consideration.

I wish her all luck as I admire her courage and the ability to speak out when required. Only thing is some tempering is needed. Tact and planning with courage is what wins battles. An argument is only a small thing in comparison! In the next post, I will write about the institute in which this is happening.

In one of the assignments here, i was asked to write on organ transplants with the viewpoint of the donor, specifically the difficulaties that they face while trying to donate organs. But for me, a more haunting spectre has been the kidney racket. It is so inhuman, and becoming so pervasive that the lack of coverage in the media has been conspicuous in itself. The fact that most of the affected people are voiceless and poor, obviously keeps the racket under wraps. The situation is dangerous for an organised mafia is running the show with barely imaginable ruthlessness. Its contacts with the right people in the administration and the corruption in the administrative machinery has made it possible for the mafia to gain first, a toehold and then spread like a contagion.

Now the situation is that any patient who is does not well off financially and socially can find himself deprived of a kidney. The decision to donate has to come from donor and no one else. Any form of coercion and deception is unlawful. In fact, the Act governing transplants has gone a bit further in trying to stop this - it has forbidden the use of anyone else's kidneys other than a dorect relative from being used for donation. While this is a debatable point as it might prevent scores of people from doing a welfare for mankind and save a preventable death, the debate here is concerned with the lack of scrupulousness among public officials which results in the Act being redundant functionally. Aided by the muscle of the mafia, doctors compromise their intergrity for money and treat the patients as disposable commodities.

The most horrific incident was when both the kidneys of a poor slum dweller were removed in Uttar Pradesh. Till date, justice has not been done and the doctors must have gained in confidence while committing similar crimes. They did a lot of positive publicity and even hired professional agencies. Now they have almost got back the face they had lost. The only ray of hope is the Supreme Court where many cases now lie awaiting trial.

Many people have lost their lives in their attempt to bring out this anomaly in civilised society. But sadly most people want to wish that away, thinking and believing they won't be affected in any way. There is chance, rising each day, that they well might be. Which means that it is time for the public to act and to make sure that the politicians are forced to hear them. There are of course, no prizes for guessing that some of them share the booty of the kidney racket. So they would consent only when their political future is at stake. There is no other way to get them to act affirmatively and strongly.

A general awakening is what is called for here rather than sporadic sounds that can be easily silenced. Also journalists must look at such stories with a motivation to expose the underlying evil in society rather than just another opportunity of a scoop alone. The latter is necessary but it should not overwhelm the former objective.

Once in the past weekend, i was bankrupt. Totally. I joked to my cousins and friends that i was living below the poverty line.

Although this out-of-the-blue bout of penury was unnatural to me and a far cry from when i worked and squandered money, I actually wondered about how people could live in this situation for life. I was temporarily in the limbo because of an error by the bank in which i have my account, and was back to normal levels of living. But indeed this has been an unforgettable experience.

Many would think that i am unduly disturbed. That would have been the case, except that i was more disturbed about the surroundings than about me. It was a period of unexpected introspection and that hit hard.

Living below the poverty line was a learning experience. i could somewhat understand the plight of people who don't have enough money to eat two square meals a day.....the hunger that they experience and the hopelessness of their condition. i atleast could borrow from some people and have returned their money but the poor are forever stuck in a vicious circle. and they are the same people who are treated like dirt by the police, who are victimised and who, because they see no other way, take to crime as a last resort. i certainly did not think about this when i was working as did not have to face scarcity. dis time u know i purposely avoided having lunch on two days just to experience the hunger, the feeling of it being unsatiated just because u dont have money. i actually had enuf to eat but i didnt. it was a terrible feeling.

There are slums near my place. these are areas that are like oddities, a sore thumb sticking out amidst prosperity. i went there to see for myself what the hell did dese people eat? and how did they survive? it was squalor and a rotting smell all over the place. so i got out of dere fast but not before i saw their food, if at all that term can be used. it was something like rice and water u know. nothing else.

now i am not suddenly a transformed figure or something, but dis made me think, knowing the poverty figures, that there is something wrong somewhere with the economic policy. i dont subscribe to the leftist economic model but do agree that a large section has been left out in the cold. if dere are so many people below the poverty line, leading lives of utter misery and perhaps worse off than animals, the crime rate can only go up. For if a person feels the pangs of hunger, he feels irresponsible and a loser when he sees his family go hungry, when he knows he has no way to make their condition better. and who does he curse? the system, which has made many people rich but has not guaranteed a life of dignity for him and his children, who have a dark future ahead of them since he cant educate them and the govt schools are pathetic. so the reservation policy should perhaps be targeted at the poor rather than being caste based. or maybe both should be incorporated. I cant expect merit from people who do not have enough to eat, forget about nutrition. they need to be given a chance to come out of the abyss, to realise that hardwork pays dividends and that crime is not a solution. as lyndon Johnson said about the negroes in the US, u cant place a malnourished, untrained and deprived person in the front row of a race and still expect him to win.

i think hunger is a powerful leveller. I might still go to the pub sometimes and have some decent food at some place but i would be grateful for what i get. This does not mean i wud be satisfied with bad quality at a good place. it just means that i can do with less. Lesser than what i used to think was possible before this week. i might still not get into overly crowded buses stuffed with people, like a pillow with cotton, but know how to survive with less. More importantly I can understand to some extent what these people feel.

While coming and returning from ACJ to my home, I look and hear and perhaps internalise some of the huge variety of stimuli that bombard us. When i walk on the road, i see beggars going up to people at the bus stop. As I come to the stop, I can see the beggar. She is an old haggard woman, bald and stooping down, bearing the burden of her misfortune. It is the same beggar everyday and different beggars are present at various bus stops. Maybe they have got their territories strictly demarcated, like the Mafia. It makes sense as each is then assured of a fixed income each day which will then be shared by the beggar and her family, if she has any. Most people here actually give her something, which is unlike what I saw in Delhi or Mumbai or Kolkata. in Delhi people are downright rude, sometimes slapping the hapless beggar or abusing them or make fun of them. In Chennai, you can feel the politeness even before you speak, in the way the people talk and behave. I see the same in Kolkata.

I get into the bus. It is overcrowded with people jamming the door as there is no space inside to even stand. I manage to get on the second stairs and stand there for sometime. It is not that bad as it might appear, as at this place, I can atleast feel the cool breeze that is like a constant and loving companion to the evening. But i have to get further inside as people wanting to get down and enter will be shoving and pushing along. I feel like a cutlet inside two slices of bread which is then pressed inside a sandwitch maker.

well i stand this way, sweating profusely as I drift momentarily to the population and its problems. The crowd here is a direct manifestation of that. I cant think for too long as someone says something in Tamil, which i do not understand. I correctly guess that he wants me to go further inside. I don't want to and indicate, half extending my hand, that he is free to venture in. He stares and then is gone, vanished in the teeming sea of commuters. Is travelling this way and ordeal? Not really but unpleasant, yes. The people sitting in the two rows of thin cushioned seats stare outside, blankly ahead or back at you. I want to know what they are thinking. Perhaps they are reflecting on the day gone by, or planning for dinner, or thinking of their spouse or children or just reflecting on the vagaries of life, analysing their failures and cursing their situation. Or maybe some are contended, happy with where they are having done their best and looking forward to meeting their families.

I am thinking about dinner and where should I have that. The bus lurches forward after as the traffic light turns green and i am almost thrown on a woman standing right next to me. She looks back, disapprovingly as if i had flung myself on her deliberately. Sandwitched as I am, i am holding on to a iron bar on the top and the seat handle of a passenger who is really lucky as he has got a seat. The seated people hardly ever get up. I guess they go from one end to the other. And this route is so busy that people must have occupied all seats as on the first stop itself. The bus remains crowded as I reach my destination. This is unnerving dude! and it is terrible when the bus stops to pick passengers or at traffic lights. Within that sea of humidity, the breeze is like the only saving grace. Without it, I get drowned in a sweaty sea. My T shirt clings to my back, wet as if it hs been washed. As I try to get down, i encounter blockades as people. I say let me get down and they move slowly but definitely to one side.I get down, and an let out a deep sigh of relief.

I cross the road as a bike honks past like a machine possessed, and walk down the pavement leading to my apartment. On the sides are small shops crowded together, an assortment of general stores, cheap eateries and a solitary saloon. There are slums around this area and people residing there are the primary customers of these shops. I cross one pavement and the row of shops disappears, leaving an open expanse of space as a ten storey apartment block looms large. I live on the ninth floor.

This weekend will be a long one. The Diwali and Id holidays are happening together and so, we have a holiday starting this Saturday and going on till Tuesday. It would have been good to go home this time but changing flights twice each way would have meant me spending just 2.5 days at home. after making all the effort to go, this would have been like getting too less of home and maybe i would have been missing home more after coming back!! So i am going to be here but not sure whether I would be in Chennai or not as i might as well go someplace close by. The places around Chennai seem to be better than Chennai itself.

I would read up on some stuff that I have been missing and also write something on topics I was not getting time to write on. As i listen to the music of Coldplay, I am reminded of two places - one, my apartment where i worked and also my home as it was in these two places where I used to listen to the X&Y album the most.

I would now go home in December. I would meet up with friends there annd would once again, enjoy some time in BHU..that place gives me a terrific sense of freedom with its huge landscaped campus where there is greenery all around. I remember the times I have spent there with fondness as do perhaps all people who have studied there at some point in time. The faculty buildings are designed in the old colonial style and they can be pretty imposing stuctures like the department of Chemistry building where my father did his research. They are distinct from any other department structures you usually see in universities. Modern buildings do not have the same appeal in a way. Also not all places have the kind of budget that BHU had at the time it was built.

I do not have any homesickness but I do understand when people have the same here. For people who are out of home for the first time in their lives, the stress can be too much without the solace they find in their parents company, the reassurance that everything is fine and he is not alone. Guys are no less missing home than girls. It is a common misconception but totally untrue I feel. When i was out of home for the first time, I think i did miss home and went back every two months. My cousin at IT BHU used to rush home to Lucknow every weekend when he first joined engineering. Now, he is in Singapore and has not been home for over a year and is fine. So it seems to be a function to how much you get used to circumstances that are different from your home and it is this adaptability which makes us successful.

The week ending this Saturday will bring a welcome respite from the hassled existence i hve been through in the last fortnight. I will be able to finally read a book that i have wanted to, and have in my room, but was never able to, because of lack of time.

It is a hot weather today. The breeze is warm and aggravates the heat of the sun. The people appear like zombies, totally oblivious to the heat. Can anyone get used to the heat? I dont think so. I personally can't unless I have something deeply engrossing to read. Or a good movie for that matter. The heat reminds me of the situation that sometimes develop in group meetings, particularly in a situation where the deadline is close and some people lose their cool. Some people think that all is lost and get panicky, which is expressed either as anger or pleading. In some groups are in a spot because some group member, who earlier accepted primary responsibility to carry out a project, with others feeding secondary stories, suddenly decide to back out giving vague reasons. This can really be a problem but then the mistake lay with the group members themselves who might have been happy at being out of the firing line. They might not have actually analysed the person whom they entrusted the responsibility, and now it is too late. So there is actually an abdication of responsibility here rather than an effort to harness resources efficiently.

This second term too shall bring its share of groups and assignments in the form of seminars, actual reporting and designing pages. I do not have any say in the composition of the groups so it is more like a roulette game, betting on getting the 'right' people. This is a subjective judgement but often, we are more comfortable working with some people than with others particularly people whom we dont know at all. But this is part of learning, a challenge that can be overcome, provided all group members are equally diligent. If not, then for your own sake, you need to perhaps work more than the others. The trick lies in getting all to perform certain roles, howsoever undesirous the other people might be. I prefer to potray the negative consequences and comparing them to other groups that are supposedly 'better' or atleast look that way. No one likes to feel inferior. But if the person is not at all motivated to work, then the group has to accept and move on without her, as assignments have a deadline that needs to be met expeditiously.

I like people who are not attention seeking. I personally am not. But there are most who do. And they tend to be selfish for this very reason. Now if I have such a person in my group, I would take care not to hurt her ego. They are not always selfish though. Sometimes they are really likable. It also happens that once you do well in some aspect, like presenting, it is taken for granted that you are going to do that always which can be a problem, as presenting means you have to prepare yourself, which in turn is something you might not always like to do!!!

This blog is all about being Indian and the experience that this identity entails. I am in Chennai now and through this blog i shall be discussing issues that are crying for attention in the city. But the perspective and linkages shall be from an Indian perspective.

What do i mean by saying that this is an Indian's blog? This is not exclusionary in nature. I think what I will be able to show is that the people of this amazing country are in most ways similar to people elsewhere and that the diferences are generally in culture which can easily be understood as the people always welcome guests from other lands. I feel that Indians can have perspectives that can vary greatly between regions, so much is the diversity in India.

I feel that this, along with the argumentative tradition that Amartya Sen talks about lends a unique enjoyment to reading the stuff written here. I myself was exposed to various cultures - Bengali, Hindi heartland and Western, the last being in school and college. My school education was really a holistic one, and made me open to all cultures and religions thereby ridding me forever from prejudices based on them. And now when i the modern Hindutva movement trying to project Hinduism in the image of a muscular Ram, i know that is so false.

It is one thing to safeguard your beliefs and quite another to do the same by hurling virulent criticism at other religions. This is like a war propaganda. The Muslims might have moire uneducated classes among them which